Ten Roots In Building Self- Esteem

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  1. The Process of Building self-esteem is active and continuous all your life.
  2. You are the only one to give it to yourself. Remember: If somebody else can “give it “to you, he can just as easy “take it away”. Clarity the values and priorities of your life. What is necessary and desirable for you? Are you living in accord with your priorities?
  3. You have to give something to gain something else –which is more important to you now? Are Decisions being trade –offs: You may be lonely to express your need to be creative. Be aware of the price you are ready to pay for trade-offs.
  4. Listen to the different parts of yourself. Often they are in conflict; they push you in different directions. You have to choose, in each conflict, to which part of yourself you will respond. If you don’t make an active choice, you stay in stagnation.
  5. Give up your images-who you are-0f the past. As a sublimation of your early life experiences, you may feel unlovable, stupid, lazy, fat, ugly, always late, etc. In reality, you may be fragile at present and yet in your image, you see yourself big as you were in the past. Re-equate your self—image with who you are today.
  6. Think positivity about yourself. Substitute real objectives for negative ones and reassure yourself that you desire what you get, and you get, and you give yourself more of what you want: “I am lovable, I deserved to be loved, I will allow myself to accept love, I will also tell others to love me.”
  7. You are committed to giving yourself a gift. Every day you will give yourself at least one thing makes you feel better ‘about yourself. Establish what these things are to be consistent in this commitment.
  8. It is up to you, and only you, to make yourself happy and make yourself love you. Ask yourself: Is there a few ways, to like me today? Don’t give up trying, experimenting. Being discouraged, frustrated, sad, low, are all part of growing and changing. Learning to love somebody (yourself), after many years of loving very little or not all, take effort and sometimes pain.
  9. Breakthrough; redefining and resynthesizing take time. Allow time for the process to work and enjoy small achievements, appreciate small changes. If you like yourself just a little more each day, enjoy it!
  10. The more you give yourself self-esteem, this more you are able to share with others, the more others will share with you.

From positive selfishness by Frieda Porat. September, 1980

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